Gosh,this post sounds so self-centered and it probably is but the Hell with it,it’s my birthday,the one day when I am supposed to be “special” (me and the other thousands or millions born in the same day but you get the point), my day .
Well,today ,around this time (7:25pm) , 22 years ago I was born in a hospital called Elias in a city called Bucharest in a country called Romania . All these places are insignificant and unimportant just like I am for most of the time but right now this is an important time in my history .
I was born at 7 months, so there, I am special, always trying to go against the norm ) , but I never needed any time in an incubator or anything like that.
Now here we are, 22 years later , in my last year of University but with no real plans for the future, I’ve so far done nothing useful with my life but I often manage to make myself sad.
Though I have all the reasons in the world to be grateful , and I am grateful , I have a nice home, a mother who takes care of me , enough money at the moment to not have to worry about the next day , I’ve seen lots of places and have little actual responsibilities at the moment, I don’t feel happy. Maybe I’m falling victim to that state when you have a much too comfortable existence and are used to getting what you want when you want it so you want more and more and you want stuff that are impossible. I honestly don’t think that is the case but maybe it can look like that from the outside although I’m no fucking millionaire or anything and I didn’t exactly live in a bubble all my life.
Today , I didn’t feel special or important or particularly happy . Today was not a great day . It wasn’t a bad day ,nothing bad happened,thank God ,and maybe I have nothing to complain about but I can’t help feeling how I feel . I didn’t feel like doing anything because I can’t do what I want to do most so there was no point (or maybe I’m acting like a brat again,see it as you wish)and I felt really …… well,alone and sad and guilty because maybe I shouldn’t feel that way.
So today I had an exam (you know,to top the joy) then came home,ate,blew some candles, got myself a beer and sat in front of the computer as always. Pretty lame ,right?
What I wish on my b-day and for my life? 3 things . I wish to be healthy and to be able to travel . The 3rd one is impossible so it doesn’t matter .
What I got? Some money and a new chair for my desk.